our interfaith families (mine and mah readers')

warning: loooong post. and please only read if you have an open mind when it comes to religion. I'm sharing all of this with you - not so you can judge - so that it is hopefully helpful to others who are in interfaith relationships and help readers who know an interfaith couple be more understanding.

If you read yesterday's blog post, you know that I'm a Catholic girl married to a Jewish guy. I get questions all the time: How do you plan to raise your son? What traditions will you celebrate? Won't your kids  be confused? Etc., etc.

I understand that my husband and my religious differences/blending intrigues some people, infuriates some people and confuses some people. And while I would share with you the answers to all of these questions, I'm just not sure I know all the answers right now. I refuse to look at this like I've got it all figured out. Like it's so black and white. It's gray, and we will have to be able to bend a little...sometimes a lot.

my boyfriend's jewish (life before marriage)
My husband and I talked about how we would raise our children before marriage. We addressed our difference about five months into dating. At that point, we were somewhat open-minded, at least enough to keep dating and eventually marry each other. Besides, at that point in our lives, our main concerns were where we were going to watch UGA football games, Miller Lite vs. Michelob Light, sushi vs. Mexican restaurant, and his place or mine.

my dream wedding in the cathedral

I always dreamt of getting married in the Cathedral where my parents married each other. But that didn't happen. I married my hubs in a Reform Jewish synagogue - a beautiful place in Savannah called Mickve Israel. We had a Catholic priest and a Jewish rabbi there. While it wasn't the wedding I always envisioned, it was more than that. It was a blend of who we are as a couple. It was unique. I have never been to a wedding quite like it. It was perfect in our eyes. I l.o.v.e.d. the blend. And I absolutely loved that I got to have the Hora at my wedding!  ;)

Before we married, I agreed to raise our children Jewish, meaning going to synagogue once a week (that was one of my terms as I grew up attending Mass weekly) and our kids doing the special traditions of Judaism: bris, Bar Mizvah, etc. A lot of thought, education, etc., went into this decision. We didn't just flip a quarter and called heads/tails. Since I'm Catholic, we will celebrate Christian holidays, expose our children to Catholicism and go to Church when we want. My Catholic parents go every week so our Jewish family will definitely be present at Mass with them when we visit. We might be the only Katzes with a Christmas tree, but that's what will make us special. In the big scheme of things, we will be interfaith...    :)

the Hora at our wedding (fun and scary)

an eight-day-old baby

Our son had a Jewish bris when he was eight days old. And while I thought it was beautiful and meaningful and something I truly and deeply respect - and something I totally agreed to before we got married - I must be honest that every time they asked us about circumcision at the hospital when Little Boy Blue was born, I wanted to scream to the doctors, "Take him! Do it behind closed doors - out of my sight - and in the safety of a sterile hospital!"

I had nightmares (when I actually could sleep) those days leading up to the bris. All I could see is my poor son's penis squirting out blood all over the living room of my hubs' parents and us having to rush our newborn to the hospital (and please keep in mind that my only other experience of a bris was a rather strange one).

In case you're wondering, everything went smoothly. I did escape during the cutting and run into the closest bedroom, while I clinched my mother's hand, and cried to her that I hope our next child is a girl so I don't have to go through that again. (Jewish girls have baby namings instead of a bris. Much better...)

Sidebar: I do need to send a big thanks to my Catholic parents who have kept open minds and open hearts (and probably have held their tongues) as they planned and paid for their Catholic daughter's wedding in a synagogue and attended their first grandchild's bris with nothing but love and respect. Thank you, Mom and Dad.

kids bring on the blessings...

Having kids is one thing that often makes people cling to religion - the community, the beliefs, the moral foundation. For some, it's easy. For interfaith couples, it's bigger than it may seem. When we were just dating, I doubt either of us would classify our-then-selves as religious. But now that we have a child, we realize religion doesn't just mean beliefs. It means traditions, comforts, language, familiarity, history, community and more...

what we have is a good thing.
I can easily turn our religious differences into a negative. I could battle my husband until the Messiah (Jesus or some other guy) comes to this planet and saves us all. But why battle? Why not try to turn this thing that so many people see as a challenge into a positive? If this is our biggest challenge, bring.it.on.

his future's so bright...
My son will know about both Catholicism and Judaism. He will have to sit through Christmas Eve Mass while the anticipation of Santa coming to our house almost kills him. He will have to suck it up at Passover and eat Gefilte fish. And he will have to be present for double the holidays. Double the prayer. Double the family dinners.

But is that all such a bad thing?

'on being both': diving into interfaith families

My family is an interfaith family. My husband is Jewish, and I'm Catholic. I always try to learn more and more about how interfaith families make it work. I want to always be open-minded on how parents choose to raise their children religiously. I want to always expose myself to how interfaith couples choose to do things and what factors play into their decisions.

I went searching for a mom who blogged about interfaith issues, and when I stumbled upon Susan Katz Miller's blog On Being Both, I was sure I hit the interfaith mom blog jackpot.

Susan (pictured here) has dug deep into interfaith families. She is a child of an interfaith marriage, and she is in an interfaith marriage. She's even writing a book about raising children with both religions (Judaism and Christianity). Read more about Susan here.

And I felt v.e.r.y. lucky to have the opportunity to ask her lots of questions on this subject...

Tomorrow, some mah readers will share with us their experiences of being in interfaith relationships and growing up in interfaith homes.

q-and-a with susan katz miller

Elizabeth (mah): Your dad is Jewish; your mom is a Protestant. You were raised as a Reform Jew. Did your parents explain to you at some point how they chose how to raise you religiously? If so, how did they make their decision? What factors played into their decision? Did your mother continue to practice Christianity on her own?

Susan: My mother agreed before marriage to raise the children Jewish. She did not think it made sense to try to do otherwise, when our last name was going to be Katz. And she said my father felt more strongly about our religious identification than she did. She stopped going to church, and began going to synagogue with us, but she never converted. This was in the '60s and '70s, when there were no organized communities yet to support families who wanted to raise children with both religions. Now, when my parents visit our interfaith community, she says she wishes we had experienced this kind of community, growing up.

(Read Susan's post "Interfaith Marriage: A Love Story" - about her mom and dad.)

how lizzie got her groove back

I'm not totally there yet. But if half of any battle is admitting you have a problem and chasing it down like a mad woman, I'm half way there.

Lizzie's gonna get her groove back. And there will be no stopping her.

I feel like this mom thing can definitely get a girl in a rut. It's easy to not go workout; it's easy to eat crap because it's quicker; it's easy to not put on makeup; it's easy to not go get a haircut. It's easy to just throw a baseball cap on and not see your hair for days (or wash it...ew!).

Like I mentioned before in a post earlier this month, I'm reading Vicki Iovine's The Girlfriends' Guide to Getting Your Groove Back: Loving Your Family Without Losing Your Mind.

Vicki's pedaling me towards getting my groove back. I checked this book out from the public library; totally recommend it. (I also checked out Jenny McCarthy's Baby Laughs; haven't gotten to that one yet, but I hear rave reviews).

Don't forget about January's jelly post....quite possibly my favorite post - thanks to all the mamas who got their grooves back!

I'm going to get this groove thing back. And here are just a few ways I'm forcing that upon myself:

- I joined the gym Thursday. Went yesterday. I got my ass kicked by my old friend The Eliptical. 45 minutes. Sweat. Working out for working out's sake instead of getting my ass kicked by my crawling, into-everything nine-month-old sweet pea. Man. It felt good. Best $30 spent in my life ever. Look forward to Monday. And Tuesday. And Wednesday. And Thursday. And Friday. Lizzie's gonna get her groove back. Watch out. She's on a mission.

- I went on a hot date last night. The lucky guy was my husband, of course. Wore high heels. Shaved my legs. Wore makeup. Mascara. Eyeliner. Lipstick. I felt hot. Even if I still have a ways to go in the losing weight department and even if my boobs are now an entire cup size smaller, I felt hot. What wonders high heels can do. Can I get an Amen!?

silver and gold

Met up at the park yesterday with Jessica, the wife of one of my hubs' colleagues. We just met each other Sunday at the big boss' house for a beginning of the year gathering (their work year goes July 1 - June 30).

Yesterday, we grabbed cold coffees and walked around and around the park for about an hour. I found a new friend. I envision us having many playdates in the future. We actually already have something planned for next week. I'm reading a book by Vicki Iovine (The Girlfriends Guide to Getting Your Grove Back), and I'm not far into it, but it touched on the subject that after the making new friends opportunities of high school, college and your first job, one opportunity is meeting new mom friends. Then your children's parents become your friends once they start school.

It's true that being a new mom makes you new friends. It's crazy how many girls I've reconnected with, or met, or tried to meet since becoming a mom. Especially an at-home mom.

Loved the walk with Jessica and her four-month-old.

Later yesterday afternoon, I met the five-day-old daughter of my best friend. My friend Keri is a natural at this mom thing. She may not know it, and she may not feel like it right now - going on such little sleep and trying to figure out this world with a little one in it. But she's a natural. She's got it. She is a mom, and it looked so good on her.

So not an exciting post today, but an example of making new friends and keeping the old. One silver; one gold. And the most exciting part of keeping the old is meeting their new babies. And seeing the old in that mom light. Priceless.

a whole lot of stuff

can i get a letter e?
It's been a whil since I've postd. And I'm sorry, but you're going to have to bear with m, my e on my kyboard is missing so sometimes it works when I hit it, and sometimes it doesn't. So hang in ther and hopefully more e's than not will show up whr they should.

on th market
W hav our condo on the market, and ven though we aren't showing it a whole lot, I still strss out about it bing clan for when the perfct buyer comes in. I want it to shine, sparkle and lure someone into it. I want someone to take it off our hands and enjoy it as we have.

lakehouse gab
We wnt to the lake this weekend with three other couples. Eight grownups and four kids. It was lots of fun, with the girls and guys splitting up a lot in the evening so the girls could get their gab on, etc. Played a lot of Taboo. Chased children, tried to make 8 baked potatoes at once (Failed). And a whole lot more. It was good to be around othr parents. It was great to chat with the other moms about all the mom stuff, etc. But I am glad to come back to a hous with just one kid in it.

wlcome, baby girl
My bff Keri had a baby girl Friday night. I can't wait to meet her. I swear, it's sooooo mind-blowing when your bffs (we've been friends sinc high school) bcom parents. It's crazy. It's surreal. It's comforting. It's fun to know that she and her hubs ar part of this fun, exhausting, fly-by-the-seat, awesome club. I can't wait to meet her beautiful little girl!

on all fours and movin' fast...
I've got a crawler on my hands now. We've been crawling for about three or so weeks. And he only gets faster and faster. I think I've actually dropped a couple pounds from chasing him around and constantly picking him up and moving him back to where I want him. Up next: walking. Lord, help me. Crawling changed a lot. I just can't comprehend what walking will do! :)

my nw gig

People ask me all the time now, How do you like staying at home? Without going too much into it (because a book could be dedicatd to it), here are some words to describ it: awesome, exhausting, frustrating, mesmerizing, fulfilling, tough, challenging, mind-numbing, mind-blowing, makeup saver, freeing, isolating, calorie-burner, patience-practic, amazing, hardr than you think, the days fly by (usually). You learn to clean fast. Eat fast. Go for walks. You gotta find courage to get out of the hous, find other moms, make play dates, lunch dates. Bfore I was a working mom, and I hav to be careful to not think of myself as "just a mom." I updated my Linkdin page to say "Professional Chef, Personal Assistant and Childcare Provider." I can do this. But I know a lot of women could not leave their profession and "just be a mom." Sometimes I don't se other adults all day. I chattd for the first tim in four years with our postman the other day; nice guy. Anyway, this weeknd someone put it the right way (Julie): we have a choice. We can b working moms. Or we can stay at home. W have that choice. But I do want to say to everyone: Whatever you are - working mom or stay at home mom, jeez. Both jobs ar soooooo difficult. The grass may sem greener but thy are both sooooo tough. I really don't know which I would prfer. They are both soooo incredibly challenging. And don't gt m wrong, I know I sound sort of pessimistic. I love being a mom. It is the BEST thing ver. But if I had to pick being a stay at home or working mom, neither has it better than the other, at least in my opinion.

Gotta run; baby on the loose. Sorry about the e not working well in this post. Ugh.

Oh, and I was going to highlight awesom, world-rocking moms this month. But I haven't heard from any readers, so I'm going to be summr lazy and just not have a focus this month...

i'm a sucker for trace adkins...

I never really paid attention to him until I heard his song You're Gonna Miss This on the radio a couple years ago. It's one of those songs I c.a.n.n.o.t. listen to without crying. When I first heard it, I cried. When I heard it today, I cried. I'm telling you, it's every time...

When I listen to this song now, I get flashbacks of my life. The highlights. High school - those glory years. College - those wreckless yet careful soul-searching years. The years right after college - the on-your-own years.

It takes me back to a lot of the moments in my life.

The verse in the song about a one-bedroom apartment makes the tears start rolling down my cheeks. While I complain about our one bedroom, I will miss it. While it's easy to complain about where I am now, when we leave (we'll be gone by July 2011), I will miss this. This is home for us.

And now that I'm a mom, the third verse turns my gentle tears into a full-on sob. When it comes to my son, everything happens so fast. Sometimes it's soooo hard to just sit there and enjoy every single second and soak it up. For me (and I'm sure I'm not alone here), motherhood makes me kind of fly by the seat of my pants. The days fly by so much faster. My son will be nine months old soon, and those nine months have flown by faster than anything ever before. They zip by. It makes me think about how almost a year has gone by, and I can't help but think how fast 15 years will fly by. And 30.

Thank God for Trace Adkins' song. It reminds me to try, try, try my hardest to slow down and soak it all in. Right now. The now. Today. This minute. Right here. Savor it. Wallow in it.